Eclectic Junk

An answer

2008-08-27T14:18:00.000+08:00

Why is it so difficult to find men who are caring, sensitive, and good-looking?

They already have boyfriends.

Status

2008-07-01T13:22:00.002+08:00

Here's to the liars who dream and conspire against the admired, we hope you drop dead.
Light speed, out of my mind. I'm hurt, but I'll be fine.
Put your fist on your chest, raise your voice and protest. Singing We don't care!
-One for the Radio, McFly Radio:ACTIVE

Just doing her job

2008-07-01T11:17:00.005+08:00

Scene 1

Female Cashier, Drop-Dead-Gorgeous Male Customer

*smiles like McFly boy just proposed* Hi.
Hi.
*waves over items on countertop* Just these, sir?
*nods*smiles his drop-dead-gorgeous smile*
*scans items and does the cashiering finger-dance, clumsily* That would be $$$$$, sir. Would you like to pay by cash or by credit card?
By cash *Hands over bills*fingers accidentally touching cashier's*
*Again, does the cashiering dance*Prints an extra receipt* Please write your name and contact on this receipt, it's for OUR reference. *smiles professionally*

Scene 2

Female Cashier, Drop-Dead-Gorgeous Male Customer

*smiles like McFly boy just proposed* Hi.
Hi.
*waves over items on countertop* Just these, sir?
*nods*smiles his drop-dead-gorgeous smile*
*scans items and does the cashiering finger-dance, clumsily* That would be $$$$$, sir. Would you like to pay by cash or by credit card?
By cash *Hands over bills*fingers accidentally touching cashier's*
*Again, does the cashiering dance*writes her name and contact on the receipt* This is for YOUR reference. *smiles professionally*

Which is more efficient?

=)

She's just doing her job. Really.

With great power comes great responsibility

2008-06-24T23:07:00.003+08:00

Eyes everywhere, her actions scrutinized.
A minor mistake, comes judgment day.
Made a wrong move today,..... you know what's gonna come next.

High time to strategize.

Godliness

2008-06-12T15:18:00.005+08:00

"If there's a God out there, then I would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork."

Taken from Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner.

Too right.

The Heart Speaks

2008-05-22T22:30:00.002+08:00

"I don't want to be falling for someone who's not gonna catch me."

or break my fall at least...

I like. LikE!

2008-04-23T23:07:00.003+08:00

So I'm obsessed with this musical duo. dublinStu.

This one is flowing with creativity... I like.

Yes. I like =)

Fergalicious

2008-04-23T21:43:00.004+08:00

Was youtube-ing as usual. Came across this video... and I almost puked my dinner out from laughing too much.

You guys ssoo have to watch this.

"The real Fergalicious music video.

THE BACKSTORY: We were trying to get the guy in the corner to dance and he didnt know the camera was on. We then danced crazy to get him to dance, but he didnt, but it turned out really great anyway."

Yeah. I subscribed =D

Oh... and he (they?) plays the guitar. And sings too. Sweet. Mmmm.....

2008-04-01T21:26:00.006+08:00

You're stationed in front of an old computer (at work), and were told that you're not to surf the net or play with your mobile phone, but to just sit there and wait for your next task.

And lucky you, your next task... isn't until few hours later. So, sitting there doing nothing, what do you do to kill time?

Since there's not much around, no human interaction either.... this is what I did.

I sat there staring miserably into the screensaver.

After staring intently for an hour or so....

... I see this. (And many other images actually... next time maybe)

You tell me, were my eyes playing tricks... or was the screensaver being lame reflecting my emotions?

Shoe-obsessed

2008-03-29T21:58:00.002+08:00

Two little girls, aged 5, chatted as they sharpened their colour pencils.

Girl 1: I'm wearing high-heels.
Girl 2: I have high-heels also.
Girl 1: I have five high-heels at home.
Girl 2: I have a lot of high-heels at home too. Higher than this one (pointed to the shoes she was wearing). Very nice ah.
Girl 1: Wear it la. I want to see.
Girl 2: Ok.

I was so tempted to join the conversation and talk about MY shoes =D

2008-03-03T12:55:00.002+08:00

It's easy to flirt with someone if neither of you are really interested. It's much harder to flirt with someone you really like.

-Bev, Rescuing Rose by Isabel Wolff

Differences

2008-02-29T19:36:00.003+08:00

At work.
Rain. Lightning. Thunder.

Colleague, a senior staff: Ohh... don't blackout please!

Me: Ohh... blackout please!

Me WHAT? MeME

2008-02-20T22:44:00.003+08:00

MEME? Why is it called a MEME? YOUYOU? HEHE? SHESHE? ITIT?

Ok. I've been TAGGED by Penguin dearest to do this book meme.

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open it at page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence/phrase.
4. Blog the next four sentences/phrases together with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig your shelves for that very special or intellectual book.
6. Pass it forward to six friends.

The nearest book would have to be Memoirs of a Geisha. I'm re-reading it. I have it with me everywhere I go. Work. Lunch. Bed. Well, everywhere except when I entertain nature's call la. Not my book ba. Don't want it to smell like... err... nature.

*Flips to page 123*

"I couldn't possible have explained what this meant. But I continued thinking about it while I swept the stepping-stones in the courtyard that morning, until I began to feel the sort of buzzing in my head that comes from a thought circling and circling with nowhere to go, just like a bee in a jar. Soon I put down the broom and went to sit in the dirt corridor, where the cool air from beneath the foundation of the main house drifted soothingly over my back. And then something came to mind that I hadn't thought about since my very first week in Kyoto."

That's one whole paragraph actually. You asked for 4 sentences ba, and that 4 form a paragraph. The author of that book probably did the meme *shudders* before she penned the book, hence the chun-ness.

I shall now pass the memek on to:
1. youyou
2. hehe
3. sheshe
4. itit
5. JOCELYN ENG
6. ANNABELLE LEE

Sleep Paralysis

2008-02-12T14:17:00.003+08:00

I turned and saw that he too, looked worried. My father noticed the odour too.

And the next thing I know, I couldn't move. I tried to open my eyes a little, and saw a great blur of brightness and realized that I was in a hospital, paralyzed. I must have been involved in some freak accident. Then wham! Pieces of the incident came together, forming clear answer in my mind. The neighbors must have forgotten to turn off their stove, which somehow led to an explosion. I had to pay for their carelessness, but surprisingly, I felt no anger, just sadness. I lay motionless, useless, in the hospital.

I tried to move again, but I couldn't. I tried to open my eyes, all I could see was a blur through the tiny slits. I panicked.

Then a voice said to me, "You're safe. You're in great hands." I relaxed a little. It was right then that I could move again. I opened my eyes, and saw familiarity. I was back in my own room. It was all just a dream. But it felt real. Too real.

So, it was just a dream. A nightmare. But I woke up not having any control over my own body, and the feelings and emotions experienced in the dream still strong. I had trouble sleeping for the next few days.

Apparently, I wasn't the only who went through this "out-of-body" experience. yJsiMm did too. And him being the smart one, he Wiki-ed it =P

Oh, when I said I tried to open my eyes, I was actually quite awake already but couldn't really open my eyes. So, naturally, right then I took the dream as something that really happened. *shudders*

Kindy Kids

2008-01-26T22:19:00.000+08:00

This is dear Russell. Russell... er... he... makes me scream alot. He's really adorable, but every few minutes I'd have to go "Russell! Color!" or "Russell! Sit Down!" or "Russell! Don't drop the crayons, PLEASE!" or "Russell! Your water bottle!"

He loves walking around the class as a Power Rangers character, or Spiderman, or Transformers, or... Ultraman?

A really active and animated boy. Has lots of stories to share.
He has a real, tamed tiger at home, and he loves petting the tiger.
He has real swords like Power Rangers' at home, for him to fight off bad-guys.
He has ghosts at home, too.
Can any of you beat that?

Now, my lil 5-yr-olds have this funny habit. After every toilet trip, I'd usually walk behind them to make sure they all get back to class safely. But these kids are cheeky! They would all run to the classroom, and hide under the desks. How to get them all out? I have to wail "Where are my babies?! Where's Russell? Where's Yolanda? Where's ... " until my voice gets way too high-pitched, then and only then they would resurface. And they don't just resurface, they would all squeal and giggle and scream with glee!

Oh and another thing, they're pretty vain and camera-sensitive too.

So there. That's all I have for today. More next time. Am way too tired already. Wrote this entry with my eyes swollen and stinging. Fun.

Line debate

2008-01-25T01:16:00.000+08:00

Colour outside the lines helps stimulate creativity. Think outside the box theory.

But when a child colours within the lines, it shows that they are in control.

Or so I read.

So, do you tell the little 5-yr-olds to "colour within the lines" or do you let them explore?

2008-01-19T18:51:00.000+08:00

There's this 10 yr-old boy in my class, he can't read and spell. At all. He barely even knows the letters A to Z.
Take half an hour to teach him to pronounce "CAT", and you'd still get "DEK" at the end of the day. Serious.

He seemed like a lost case, but I didn't want to give up on him. I did all I could to help him. I put in that extra extra care and attention today, made him sit next to me and went through each question with extra extra patience. And that paid off. He finally recognized the words The, My, She, He, Is, Are, A, It. Oh the joy! After years of education, he now knows eight words! Now my only hope is that he'll remember those words next week!

I'll update more on my lil 5 yr-olds next time. Am now too tired and happy...

Righteous Fools

2008-01-08T16:13:00.000+08:00

Why is it that the people I know who are full of LIES are those self-proclaimed righteous HOLY people?
Non believers don't call themselves holy and yet they have purer hearts.

Yes, I am struggling on the inside.
So sue me.
You righteous people confuse me.

Untitled

2008-01-04T15:00:00.000+08:00

I'll be singing Itsy Bitsy Spider at 8.30 tomorrow morning.
With actions, too.
Hmm.

-Miss Lydia

A New Chapter

2008-01-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

Child: Ma, let's go for a jog.
Mother: You go yourself.
Child: You lemak!

Ahem. The new year welcomed us with a great shower (which explains why I don't have any photo of the night taken). We welcomed the year 2008 by standing in pools of puddles amidst drunkards, nature's breath in our faces, shivering and all drenched to the core. Very memorable indeed. Just, I'm not sure if it's one we had in mind.

My new year resolution? I don't want to make life complicated, so I'll just resolve to try to be happier and not such a sleepyhead all year round. Good? Fine. I admit, I'm lazy. Hush.

Am continuing with teaching. Will be teaching little 5 year olds and Pre-UPSR students. I wonder what it'll be like. I dread having to wake up early on Saturdays again. Gaah.

Have a very blessed year ahead, people!

The wrong tune

2007-12-16T12:30:00.000+08:00

He disappeared into the kitchen, and reappeared with what seemed like a small block of sponge, a musty and aged sponge to be precise.

Placed a small waxy thing, that looked to me like a soap, on the moldy sponge. He then proceeded to light the soap. To melt it into the sponge perhaps?

Once lighted, it was presented to me. Hmm...

He then led everyone in a chorus, belting out "WE WISH YOU A MER EH.... WRONG SONG!" Whoops! Not the song he had in mind I guess. Adults and children alike were howling with laughter, some even echoed him. I chuckled.

"Let's do it again, with the right song this time," he said.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU..."

Geek in the Pink

2007-12-01T22:24:00.000+08:00

Jason Mraz is a musical genius. And I don't care if you don't think so, because he just is =P

His live performances are all unique. He's so freakin good in improvising. So syiok. Ahh... I'm in looveeeee *swoon*

"his brilliant witty lyrics combined with his awesome voice and guitar skills" turns me on resulting in never been seen before musical orgasm. Ahem.

I can't wait for his upcoming album. CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE! So wish it'll be released now.

A lil preview of what he's gonna have in his new album.

I want a bunny!

2007-11-29T20:13:00.000+08:00

I want a bunny. I want a bunny. I want a bunny. I want a bunny. I want a bunny. I want a bunny. I want a bunny. I want a bunny.

Now... will you get me a bunny?

Eye Scrawl!

2007-10-30T13:13:00.000+08:00

I got cross-eyed after checking only a couple of books.

Anyone wants to help me mark books and pages after pages of kiddy scrawls?

Red marking pen provided =)

My kids

2007-10-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

I am currently 50% employed. Make sense? No? I was just being lame. Hee. I'm working part-time as a tuition teacher. I teach only on Saturdays, two classes. Great pay. The kids are mostly age-8. Some 7, 10, and 12. I find teaching very tiring la. But I have to admit, it's a great experience. The kids are pretty entertaining with the things they say and do. Damn cute la!

Half of my morning class babies. Hard at work =)

My favourite anaks from the morning class =P

But of course, not everyone or everything they do is cute. There are some who are not motivated at all!! And it seriously is a pain in the you-know-where trying to make them participate in class discussions and activities. They just don't give a hoot! Talk to them and they ignore you completely. Ask them a question, and they just stare at you.

There's this boy, he just won't say a thing. The previous teacher actually gave up on him already. I'm still trying and searching for ideas on how to motivate him. Saw a hint of hope during the last lesson. I knew the kids would be excited at the idea of scribbling on the whiteboard. So I made everyone take turns writing down their answers on the board. When it was his turn, he just sat there and stared at me. Damn I so wanted to scream and shout at him. But I kept my cool and cooed him into participating. And it paid off. His first participation in class, writing on the board. Yay -_-

My noon class babies =)

This particular kid is hard not to like. What separates him from the other kids is that, he's so responsible(?) and guai(?) for a 10 year-old! His parents run a food business in the nearby kopitiam, and he's always seen helping them serve before coming to class in the afternoon. And I have never heard him complain "Teacherrrr! Tired!" like the other kids do. He isn't very good at the subject, but he's so willing to learn. He studies for his spelling tests! I think more than half the class don't! This memang sayang sayang one. Haha.

The girls. The one in front is a cute ballerina.

The comments in the report card written by their previous teacher. Those pencil writings were written by the girl's parent. Yikes! (Click for larger image)

This was taken when they were doing exercises. Who's doing fine and who isn't? LoL

Noon class kids having their break

We tend to always think it's easier to handle girls. Not really. Some of the girls are easy to teach. But there a few that drain all your energies too. They don't disturb the lesson or make noise or any of that sort. BUT... they'll yak away quietly at the back, thinking "teacher can't see la." When I discuss the exercises with them, guiding them thru (coz if I don't do that, "vomit blood" ah check their works), indirectly giving them answers, those girl would yak and yak and yak. Then when I check their books, they give me crappy answers... toh huek or not you say?

I came across this when I checked their books. See anything peculiar?
(Click for larger image)

Coming Home

2007-09-19T13:00:00.000+08:00

September 8, 2007
Marking the turning point in life.

God did not forsake me. He loves me.

God loves you too!

My Secret

2007-09-15T17:30:00.000+08:00

... is that I... dolikejaychou. *blush*

Knowing me, I would never be bothered to cough up some cash just to watch some mandarin or canton speaking movie. I'm terrible at that language, among the reasons why I couldn't be interested to actually watch the movie. But I guess this one is just different.

During one chat session with Sly, I told her we should all go watch Ratatouille, and she mentioned something about "Secret". I didn't pay much attention to it coz I knew that coming from Sly, it's some Chinese or Jap drama with those weird AhBengs that she likes. Hehe. But I was wrong.

We were deciding which movie to watch one day and Sly brought up Secret again. So I went online and did a lil reading.

Secret, a movie starred, co-written, and directed by Taiwanese musician, Jay Chou.

Secret > Jay Chou > piano playing extraodinaire > passion for music > music > magical....

That did it. I thought, why not. It has got something to do with music. It could be nice. And there should be some subtitle or something.

Then....

There I was, choking back tears and mentally directing the characters on screen, but of course, to no avail. Duh. It was just so emotional, the whole story. It was heart-wrenching coz at certain point, everything was so near and yet so ruddy far! I think one of the most emotional scenes was when Lun had a flashback and realized that no one else could see Yu except him. Oh and another really emotional scene was when Lun and Yu interacted through writing on the table with correction-pens... and and and... and Lun's pen ran out of ink! *Sobs*

Just thinking about the story sends me chills. The setting itself played a big role in completing the whole emo thing there. And I love the chemistry between Jay Chou and Kwai Lun Mei. They look so adorable together.

I. Need. To. Watch. Secret. Again.

Faith believes?

2007-07-29T23:19:00.001+08:00

Warning: Very unorganized rantings ahead

My aunt made me go to church this morning, 8am service. It was a painful effort to get up as early as 7am =( But I went, and I guess I'm pretty thankful I did.

Coincidentally, or Christians like to call it God-incidentally, the speaker was an invited Reverend from another church, and he preached a lil something on faith.

Faith. Definitely not my strong point. I had stopped attending church about 4 years ago. Reason(s). I couldn't wake up that early? No. More of having problems in this Faith Department. Been going astray since. Sadness.

Anyways, he told us this story of a cancer patient. A third stage cancer patient. Mr Patient's faith wasn't as strong. He believed that God will heal him, but when friends and relatives visit, his faith was shaken. They told him he would most probably not make it as he was in a critical condition. So Mr Patient constantly called up this Reverend and cried his heart out.

The Rev would ask him "Do you choose to believe in God or them?". As simple as that. Every time Mr Patient felt uncertain, the Rev asked him the same question. Do you choose to believe in God or them? And each time, Mr Patient would answer "God." So trust God with all your heart, and not let your faith be wavered by words that are not of God's.

We always seek alternatives even though we know that with God, all things are possible. We say that we believe in God, but at the same time, we'd go around looking for alternatives, thinking "what if it doesn't turn out right, we need a plan B." That's plainly doubting God. But I guess we never realize that. The Rev shared with Mr Patient that he has to trust God completely and not drown himself in "what-ifs". He has to believe that God will indeed heal him. And that's what Mr Patient did after many encouraging visits from the Rev. By God's grace, he's completely healed today.

I was touched and amazed at what faith, pure faith, could do. Picture yourself in a very sick condition, and all you have to do to be healed, is simply have faith. Many people claim that they have faith. They are 100% dependent on God. But having faith isn't something that is easy for me. After going through so much in life, I tend to think a lot, and that led to doubts. I respect Mr Patient for having such faith. I want to trust God too. I want to be 100% dependent on God too. I want to let God take control of my life too. Faith. I want to have faith. God, take me back into Your mighty arms.

Not only in sickness, but also other aspects of life, put God first. He is not an alternative.

I'm gonna be a star!

2007-07-18T13:35:00.000+08:00

Was browsing through youtube when I saw this...

"What goes around" Cover

I saw the title and I was thinking "hey, a babe doing JT's song, this I gotta see." Unplugged version ey. Just the piano (played by a mysterious pianist) and the girl in red singing. Nice voice. Nice singing. Nice piano-ing too. When the song finally ended, the cameraman decided hey enough of girl-in-red lets give the mysterious pianist some light.... and... I fainted. Well, not really. I didn't faint. I just.... molested the monitor.

Esmee Denters. Before, she was just like any of us youtubers, viewing and posting stuff up on youtube. And now, she's on tour with Justin Timberlake -_-''' How did she do it? Well, she's got the voice and guts! She started posting vids of herself singing along to karaokes about nine months ago. Lotsa viewers. Stats count went real high. Got discovered. You get the drill. Nice isn't it?

Her journey to stardom is indeed very inspirational. You know. Like... All things are possible... Never give up... Dreams do come true... .
You know, I think I'm gonna go find my cam and give it a try too. I'm gonna sing. Yeah. You never know. One day, you might see me touring with this legend...

Take a guess

Shiraz

2007-06-21T09:45:00.000+08:00

After weeks of attempting to resign, I finally did it. I tendered my resignation on the 4th of June. After many many sleepless nights, I finally had peace again in lalaland... but not for long! Now I'm jobless. And again, many more sleepless nights. Serve me right! Ish! But I don't regret resigning from that company. Don't think I ever will.

Anyways... not a long post. Just a lil something to mark this particular phase in life.
TTFN!

Unnecessary crap

2007-03-26T21:09:00.000+08:00

Monday, March 26, 2007

Yea, I know the date's redundant. Never mind.

Went to work around 9++ am this morning.
Had brunch around 10++ am.
Pester strangers to sign up course around 11++am.
Stood under the scorching sun around 12++pm.
Pester more strangers to sign up.
Lard-tank refilling around 4++pm.
I'm getting good at pestering strangers.
Dinner around 6++pm.
Got home around 7++pm.
Online around 8++pm.

So tiring. You got that right. No typo there. Tiring it is. Don't need to tell me "Like that nia you feel tired dy." I'm tired and that's that. Fullstop.

Looked through my messages and testimonials in Friendster. Nostalgia crept in. I miss those good old days. I miss those carefree (well, not really, but kinda) days. I miss my friends.
But then, something else had to spoil those beautiful memories. Big ugly smudges on a very beautiful painting. What's worse is that, I actually do miss those smudges too! Damn you bastards! Hahaha. Sigh.

It hurts to think that those days are just mere memories now. Things just ain't the same anymore. People I thought were nice are plain bastards and bitches. Their true color slowly unveiling, gradually coming to a point where I realize it's time I repaint whatever is left in the back of my head. Hmm... I'm starting to sound like a madman.

It feels good to crap ~~unnecessarily~~ unnecessary crap sometimes.
-_- I'm lame.
Nites.

Still hanging on

2007-03-25T12:42:00.000+08:00

It's been more than a week and I survived pretty ok I guess. Finally got the hang on how things work. A lil problem here and there, normal la... but hey, I tried. I did.

On that fateful day, I was prepared to leave. I sat there feeling somewhat miserable and close to tears. There's one thing I can't stand, and that is feeling trapped. I felt trapped. I felt forced. I felt lost. I didn't know what to do. To get up and leave? Or bear with it and go cuckoo?

My supervisor gave me a pep talk. Gave me motivation and all. Turns out she isn't all that ganas as I feared she might be. Hopefully. So here I am, still a working lady. And I hope it'll last.

On a lighter note, I'm going badminton-ing tonight with my colleagues. Wait, I don't play badminton, so I'll be erm... going around picking shuttlecocks. Oohh, would you guys (you people who know me) believe that people at work described me as anti-social o.O When I asked Sim@braboi what would our friends' reaction be like if they heard this, he said "a combo of longpiak and peng" hahahaha

My supervisor DID ask me if I like socializing and "make" new friends. I gave her a plain NO. Not my habit to go befriend strangers. Ahaha. Yeah I know I am quite noisy and crazy at times, ok ok VERY, but it doesn't mean I have to go around and be mega friendly and nice with everyone right? With some people, I can be real friendly and crazy even on the first meet. But with some, even after meeting up / hanging out a few times, I'd still be reserved and quiet, and it takes time before I actually open up. Like that lo... I think.

Pig goes swimming

2007-03-16T20:37:00.000+08:00

I hate work I hate work I so hate work!
I know... I complain a lot. So what?! That's the reason I started "blogging" nyways. I kuat complain one (and you might come across some unreasonable ones too). Get used to it.

It's only the second day of work, and I have already considered resigning. For Lyd to be in this line is like putting a crippled pig in the middle of the sea! I so hate it! Benci benci benci!!!
The worse is still having to converse and convince in mandarin. Waaahhh... HOW?! My mandarin like sai eh!
Well, you see, for me to *ahem* present those products in english dy ssooo blardy challenging (coz my brain very rusty, abit squarish, very slow etc etc), what more to say in mandarin?!
Training provided was in mandarin *cuss cuss cuss* I couldn't understand more than 90% of the terms they used! So you tell me how? Fine la, they translate for me. Then if customer wants me to explain in Mandarin, ah neh wa masi si?! Now the pressure's on! Shits. Plus lagi my leader / supervisor mega garang one. Habis la.
You see, even complaining on my own blog my thoughts are like ssoo not organized. How to present to customers like that?

Argh. I'm gonna give this maybe a month try, and if I really can't take it, hop job lo. Maybe I should start applying for positions like Nanny, Maid, Janitor... you get the drill.

I'm off to complain more.... verbally.

Who?

2007-03-14T15:25:00.000+08:00

Shit. Shit. Shit. SSHIIITT!
Sorry, just had to get that out of the system.

Come come, I'll let you in on a lil secret of mine...... I am, in reality, just a puppet. No joke, buddy. Now I understand why Pinocchio so desperately wanted to be a boy.

No details for now. Bye.

What's new?

2007-03-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

Not much success in my life. So close to being crushed by the oncoming trucks of despair and poverty. After months of bumming and jobless and surviving solely on relatives' kindness, finally got myself a shitty job. Lo and behold.... education consultant aka annoying sales/marketing ass. Hu-bloody-rray.

Thursday would be my first day in paid employment. Hopefully I don't screw things up, else I'd be eating shit for the next few months or so.

Sigh. Comforting myself that this is just a start. What the heck, its a freaking good start I'd say, seeing what a loser I am. With my qualifications, I dare not tackle "better" jobs. Yeah call me coward. ~!@#$%^&* There's a bloody good long story behind the cowardice, the lack of confidence, the low self-esteem, blah blah blaahh. And I don't intend on going into it now.

Been drowning my misery in Dan Brown's works. For the record, I completed Angels and Demons and Digital Fortress all in less than a week. That's how aimless and useless I have been. Stuffing my lard-filled form with more lard and hiding away in my room with my head buried in books. That's practically what I did for the past months, apart from occasional out jobhunting, limteh-ings and gatherings with successful in-pace friends.

Gaahhh... I need a life!

Want Coffee?

2006-11-02T11:29:00.000+08:00

Things happen. Things happened.

With anyone. Anyone. Just bite my tongue, hold *it back, and laugh it off.

But some people, just some, can't handle it. Even when I give in, shut up, and not give any opinion to avoid any possible bickerings, they still create headlines. They always and always drown me in their I'm-the-nicee-you're-the-ass blah, eventhough I've done nothing but *ahem* succumb to their *ahem* SuPeRiOrItY to avoid any BIG fuss they're capable of making. Make use of your own attitude ointment, don't need to be so generous and baptize me with it.

I guess it's not really a good thing to hold back certain stuff. But I have resorted to doing just so, to avoid any *ahem* disharmony with some people. And that is why I need to let it out somewhere else. Hence this frust-dump.

When I said "some", it means only some... SOME. Minority. Small, very small amount. One? Or two? Maybe three??

Current addiction

2006-08-02T20:45:00.000+08:00

Gagaga... currently addicted to Scott Moffatt's The City's Teeth and Perilously Here.

Listen to the songs here.

a tale of... windows

2006-05-11T18:46:00.000+08:00

Windows – Freakaaayy!!

nono... not computer windows... window windows...

I freak whenever I'm near a window!
Why?

You know those kinds of windows where, during the day, you can’t look in from the outside but people from the inside can see you. And during the night, you can’t look out from the inside, but lo and behold, whatever creeps and lurks around outside studies your every move! yiiihh! Gelik ah!

What are the odds of having a ~~bogeyman~~ madman lurking outside your window late at night, when you’re busy burning the midnight oil? I don’t know, you tell me. Heck, I’m the one with the fear.

Yeah picture this…
One fateful night, your parents and siblings are already in lalaland, leaving the still and quiet study to you. You’re on your computer, placed directly next to the window. With Ashlee Simpson on your playlist, you slave away on your soon-to-due assignment, now and then sipping your mug of coffee.

Can you predict software reliability before the system is completed and integrated? You do a little research, read some articles and come across jargons. What the *toot* is UML? Dang, why did the lecturer gave us things like this. Bloody hh…. Tap, tap, tap. Before you could even finish your thoughts, someone or something tapped on the window next to you. You froze. All sorts of thoughts coming to you. No, must be my imagination.

You continue with your work. After a while, there goes the tapping again. This time, loud and clear, definitely not your imagination. It’s like tapping the window or glass with your fingernails, long nails that is. With balls the size of chicken eggs, you take a peek past the curtains. Can’t see a thing, except your own reflection. Oh right, I have that kinda window. Then fast, you press your face against the window hoping to at least catch a glimpse of the culprit behind the tapings. Nothing. Outside, everything is still. It definitely wasn’t tree branch coz there weren’t any trees near your window. There’s only a washing machine and a lil old cupboard outside, nothing with the height that reaches your window.

So… what was it?

What’s really freaky is if you look out and a face suddenly appears, pressed against the glass. A psychopath. Orang gila (maybe even hamsap) with a really silly yet grotesque grin plastered on the face. *shudder* reminds me of clowns. Some may find it a ridiculous fear because those weirdoes are outside, and you’re on the inside, they can’t do anything.
Maybe. Like I’ve said, gelik. What if the freak suddenly gets all creative, smashes your window and reaches in to grab you? By then, you’d be shitting in your pants. Too shocked to move.

Right?

Ok, perhaps I’m exaggerating a lil.
Perhaps it’s not that bad.
Perhaps it’s just me and my wild imagination.
Hehe…

*glass shatters*
*screams*

...

2006-04-28T11:14:00.000+08:00

my soul cries silently
my aching heart yearns the warmth of love
my thoughts wander on the unsolved puzzles of life

when will i find peace?
when will i rest within myself again?
when can i finally untangle my thoughts?

over and over i remind myself
low as i may feel, the world will still keep on turning
what is going to happen will happen
i should just make the best of what i have...
of who i am

maladroit... i guess

2006-04-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

a maelstorm of conflicting emotions
whatever i do is maladroit

expectations beyond my capability
efforts gone unappreciated

fought my way into the circle
but was never really accepted

i tried, and tried, and i tried
but coldness is all i received

alone i grieve and weep
for there are hearts as cold as these